What's With The Pain???

So, for the past few days I've had a lot of pain. Random, still, but pain. It changes from sharp to dull to achy to heaviness. It is mostly a feeling of heaviness in my legs that is achy and pain in the bottom of my feet. My shoulders are also feeling this and my arms feel heavy. It's hard to make it through a day, and I am not able to complete nearly all of the tasks I assign myself... not that there are many.

 

All in all, this sucks.

Question Posted in Medhelp.org

I posted this as a question to an online forum. I don't think I have ever done that before. We'll see how it goes. Thought I would document it in this here ol' blog.

I have been having odd "neurological" type symptoms for the past 4 mos. It started with having a constant feeling of dizziness. It isn't necessarily a vertigo, but an off-balance feeling. Within a few weeks I started having temporary numbness in my fingers and hands and weakness when trying to utilize my fingers to type, open, carry things etc. Then after a week I started to have a tremor in my (mostly right) hands. Then I noticed my legs and feet (especially around my ankles (mostly right)) starting to go numb and not responding to my brain. I would think I was doing something, like walking, and realize my feet weren't moving. My gait changed and within a few more weeks my knees started to tremor. During this whole time I have also had odd sensations, like electricity, going through different body parts. And, pain that ranged from a dull ache to feeling pain when being touched. Most of my symptoms come and go unexpectedly to a point. I may have a good day, but then they come back. Only constant is the dizziness.

I went to one neurologist and he gave me xanax and said it was anxiety. He sent me to a psychiatrist. The psychaitrist thinks it's neurological and sent me to another neurologist. This neurologist is sending me to get tests done and on the order form it says "Diagnosis: Vertigo/Dizziness, Tremor-psychogenic, paresthesia-generalized, weakness-muscle, malaise/fatigue-other, cognitive impairment-mild, memory loss, mri of brain was normal, worried about demyelinating disease." I have many other symptoms as well, such as cognitive issues that started with this.

I don't know whether this neurologist thinks I'm having psychological issues or neurological issues because of the coupling of "tremor-psychogenic" and "worried about demyelinating disease." I am afraid that if he's classifying the tremor as psychogenic, he is thinking all of my symptoms are psychogenic.

Are there demyelinating or other neurological diseases that cause a psychogenic tremor??? My anxiety level has gone up severely since all of these symptoms appeared. Could the numbness and inability to move my body have triggered a psychogenic tremor? I have an aunt with ms and obviously a 27 yr old female who suddenly lost the use of her hands is going to think the worst.

I just am concerned with being sent away, back to a therapist when I know there is something wrong with me even if tests don't show it.

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Cars Drive By



(Driving into the city...)

Last night we went over to a friend's house and had dinner. It was a lot of fun. We engaged in much needed belly-laughs and delicious food. Very nice end to a week.

I tried to be as "normal" as possible, but some things can't be hidden... just ignored. So, that's what we all did...  At a point I quit trying to be "normal" and just was.

Having the luxury of allowance without judgement is incredible. So, I take a little longer to do things... And, so, I can't find words... And, so, my vocabulary has fallen to a 7th grade level at times... Roll it in with jokes or overlook, and we're gravy. I've found there aren't very many places other than home where I am comfortable enough to let my guards down. Last night, like most times we visit, I could. A couple of beers and full tummies later, and even I can stop caring about the frustrations of inability.

I haven't written much this week. I've been too distracted and unmotivated. I did go to see an ENT about possible inner ear involvement with the dizzies...

I started having hand and leg tremors prior to even arriving. Filling out the new patient paperwork was a tedious experience. I was enjoying the waiting time because it gave me an excuse to read. It was peaceful. The office is also used for plastic surgery and spa treatments, so the decor was one of the most calming I've seen. The dark wood of the doors and counters meshed very nicely with the dark greens and purples. The doors were fixed with antique-brass knobs. The waiting area seating wasn't uncomfortable pleather chairs, but instead warm and inviting love seats. I occasionally looked out the second-floor window to see the cars drive by on the road next to medical building. I watched the small people get out of their small cars and walk out of sight. The experience was very relaxing.

When I was called back into the room, the nurse told me to stop being so nervous... They "don't bite." I told her I wasn't nervous... that it was all very calming. The rooms themselves were also done-up in the greens, purples, brass, and dark wood of the foyer. I wasn't sat on a table, oh no, it was a chair. Again, it was much more luxurious than I'm used to. I felt a little like I might be attacked with scented candles and Botox, but that didn't detract from the peace of being removed from the highly distractible world beyond the office doors.

As I sat waiting for the doctor, I started thinking about ways to incorporate their schemes, fixtures, and fogged glass into my own home.

The specialist finally made it to me. He was a young doctor, probably very fresh out of school with strawberry blond hair and a fair complexion. "There's definitely some Irish in that man," I thought to myself.

He examined me: ears, nose, and even throat. When he was done he said, "These symptoms have absolutely nothing to do with your ears."

"I've gone over your symptoms and every possibility, and there is nothing I can correlate with an inner ear problem. It's good you're going to a second neurologist. Stop taking the meclizine. You don't need it, and it may even be hurting the situation."

I thought to myself, "Good, I haven't been taking it because I was never able to get the prescription filled! Plus less cash for meds... Good thing."

He continued,

"This is good and bad. You don't have any of these issues wrong with you, but at the same time that means it's due to some other issue. At least knowing it isn't your ear allows you to narrow down your search. I know you want answers, but the best thing I can say is, stop taking the meclizine... Oh, and I encourage you to quit smoking because it's bad for you. That's it though."

Everything he had said about narrowing down the search I was already thinking. Crossing one off and adding to another... So, now I can know, in my heart, with certainty the dizziness is caused by this "neuro-or-whatever" thing that is all-inclusive. Neurological disorders that include dizziness as a symptom... My basket is overflowing with possibilities! If it turned out that my dizziness was caused by an inner ear malfunction, my load would be lighter, but this is how it goes.

I can't wait to see the neurologist!!!! Even if it is just an initial consultation.

Now for my Saturday to begin (I don't count playing around on inter-webs and blogging as "beginning"). In store for me is an nice evening alone with the man and an episode or two of This American Life. Some light shopping and housework is on the agenda, but I'm just going to enjoy my moments of a sunny, Fall weekend.

It's a beautiful time with the sunshine and cool breeze as my companion.